Video Game Fantasy League Update, July 2012

The VGFL is our terrible attempt at applying the ideas behind fantasy sports to the world of gaming. For full rules and the original draft, see here.

The doldrums of the summer video game season have not been kind to scoring in the VGFL. Seven whole points have been scored in the past month. Far Cry 3’s delay netted owner McAnus a big five-spot and pushed him into second place ahead of team Phegan. Diablo III’s infamous Patch 1.03 helped Team Koziol stretch its lead by two. Meanwhile, my team of former top prospects continues to disappoint. Lollipop Chainsaw’s done its best Greg Oden impression, and The Secret World has become this generation’s Ryan Leaf. But it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and the fall season and all of its high-selling, kerfuffle-brewing glory is right around the corner.

The standings thus far:

Team Koziol, 25 points
Team McAnus, 10 points
Team Phegan, 5 points
Team Yacht Captain, bupkis

July waivers went thusly:

Team Yacht Captain: The Last of Us. This one’s all ready generated plenty of controversy for its realistically violent portrayal of survival in a post-apocalyptic world. I don’t think I’ve got Peyton Manning on my hands here, but I think I’ve at least got Jay Cutler. The way things are going so far, Rick Mirer is probably more likely.
Roster: Lollipop Chainsaw, Borderlands 2, Assassin’s Creed 3, The Secret World (you all suck, you big losers)

Team Phegan: Bioshock Infinite. Plummeting into third place, Phegan knew he needed to pick a ringer. This is the game I probably should’ve taken. Fuck me.
Roster: Dragon Age 3 (5 points for being delayed), Sim City 5, Halo 4, Guild Wars 2

Team McAnus: Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. That isn’t a fucking word, but McAnus doesn’t care. He’s looking at a probable 10 points for selling a million copies and at least three VGA nominations. Can I have a do over?
Roster: Spec Ops: The Line (5 points for melodramatic commercial), Fable: The Journey, Black Ops 2, Far Cry 3 (5 points for being delayed)

Team Koziol: South Park: The Stick of Truth. Foosball 2012 was ineligible to be chosen because it’s all ready been released. It won’t matter. He’s going to destroy all of us and have something to rub in our faces until the end of time.
Roster: Max Payne 3 (10 points for selling 1 million in its first week), Diablo 3 (10 points for selling 1 million in its first week; 3 points for being released broken and in need of a patch; 2 points for a patch making things worse), Grand Theft Auto 5, Tomb Raider

Tune in next month, when I still don’t have any points and I turn management of my squad over to the first homeless drunk I find who can correctly answer the question “How many warp whistles are there in Super Mario Bros. 3?”

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