Tweets of the Week: Jet Force Gemini

Remember that time when no one said anything all that interesting about the new games of the week so we checked out what Twitter had to say about Battletoads? Given that no one had anything even remotely interesting to say about Skulls of the Shogun, this is just like that. I’m sticking with Rare games as my fallback plan until I can’t find one that generates any interesting commentary.

@linkdude says: Remember jet force Gemini? I do cuz my cartridge never let me beat it deep into the game. Epic fun was had though.
I say: I can’t wait to be an old fart. In part, that’s because I can’t wait for eating dinner at 4:30 to become socially acceptable within my circle of friends, but I’m also really looking forward to confusing tomorrow’s children with tales of my youth. Imagine the following scene:

Scott Colby III: Grampa, my Halo 17 doesn’t work!
Scott Colby: Eh? What? Oh, I can fix that! Just blow in it!
Scott Colby III: You can’t blow in a download, Grampa.
Scott Colby: Did they trick you with that day one DLC again? Silly boy! Now go get Grampa his medicine. The Jack Daniels, not the Jim Beam.

@michaelgapper says: Spartan Ops is the worst idea any games designer has ever had, ever. Worse, it’s a replacement for Firefight – the best idea ever.
And follows up with: Actually, I take that back. I just remembered the dozens of terrible ideas that amounted to Jet Force Gemini.
I say: Given the amount of time I spent playing JFG, I’m inclined to defend it. But the more I think about the terrible camera angles, shitty flying robot controls, and fuzzy mascots that make the ewoks look like badass motherfuckers…well, I still kind of liked it. JFG’s like that uncle you don’t want to sit too close to because he’s got a rampant case of irritable bowel syndrome but you still kind of like it when he comes to visit because he tells lots of funny stories your father doesn’t want you to hear.

@GuyFawkesRetro says: I also want Jet Force Gemini 2. But hey. The Popes German, so who knows.
I say: If you ask Uncle Fester nicely, maybe he’ll bequeath unto us Jet Force Gemini x Battletoads. Or another arcade game where you have to light up the bulb in his mouth. Also, remember how Jet Force Gemini gave the dog tank tracks halfway through? The popemobile should do that during its next parade.

@Fyraga says: ATENCIÓN SPOILER. ¡El boss final del Jet Force Gemini (ya llovió) es el malo!
I say: Mizar era una perra! Estoy bastante seguro de que sólo le ganó al ocultar behing una roca.

@miketheburrito says: the last few times that sex happened on my body, i’ve found myself distracted by nostalgic thoughts of Jet Force Gemini on the Nintendo 64
I say: Apparently someone never owned a Dreamcast and a copy of Skies of Arcadia.

@DuncanIdunno says: Sext: 4 words - Jet Force Gemini role-plays
I say: $5 says he’s planning to dress up as the dog.


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