Oh, hey, it’s another Dead Island game. And it’s the only game released this week worth searching the depths of Twitter for. It must be spring!
@fake_girugamesh says: speaking of games. dead island riptide just came out out and i’m sitting here not playing it because my life is sad.
I say: I’ve got wonder about the other unfortunate side effects of a sad life. An inability to eat donuts? Constant nightmares about Homefront? Never getting a seat on the subway? Sounds like a vicious cycle.
@Codeine_Codyy says: I need someone to play the new Dead Island Riptide game with. This shit isn’t fun by yourself.
I say: Dead Island: Riptide is essentially a see-saw. Or maybe a condom.
@bradleyherrin says: If I see another advertisement for Dead Island Riptide on Youtube I’m going to hurt a small animal.
I say: Just don’t video tape it and put it on Youtube. That’ll probably put you in prison.
@AWildSilas says: Dead Island Riptide: it’s like Resident Evil 5 with funnier accents. Oh, and worse gameplay… SOMEHOW—!
I say: Inspector Clouseau fighting the undead? Sign me up!
@MarkJAllman says: Oh Logan, I’ve missed your grunty headstomping move.
I say: I used that as a pickup line once. Didn’t go so well. Woke up in the gutter with a headache and some missing teeth.
@AgentCoke says: Harlow on Dead Island: Riptide looks like a fish.
I say: I’ve never seen a fish with a pixie cut. Must be a rare Australian species.
@ILickBrains says: DEAD ISLAND: RIPTIDE IS A THORN IN MY ASSHOLE! I CAN’T WIN!
I say: Ladies and gentlemen, may I present our tweet of the week.