Bioshock Infinite’s taking the gaming world by storm this week. Even your humble narrator, known the world over as a skinflint and a cheapskate who looks hype square in the eye and then kicks it square in the balls, gave in to the game’s overwhelmingly positive reception and picked it up. I’m only an hour and a half into it as of this writing, but I’m thoroughly impressed with the story telling clinic Irrational’s latest has put on. Alas, this article isn’t about yours truly; it’s about the people. What does Twitter have to say about Bioshock Infinite?
@Zachwidit says: Things I want to buy: crock pot, shoes, whey, Bioshock Infinite, gaming PC, friends.
I say: I’m confused as to which one of those things is going in the crock pot. It’s probably the friends.
@derekalexander says: Bioshock Infinite is going to take me so long to finish because I can’t resist the urge to look at EVERYTHING!
I say: I’ve got the same problem. I really just wanted to hang out in the carnival all day. Screw killing bad guys when you can just watch the city bob through the clouds. Sounds like there’s a market for some sightseeing DLC!
@MutantOOC says: @MouthBehindMerc DUDE. I GOT BIOSHOCK INFINITE. AND SWEET BABIES IT’S GLORIOUS. I ALMOST CRIED AND CAME WITHIN THIRTY MINUTES OF EACH OTHER.
I say: Sounds like my typical Saturday night.
@MissGinaDarling says: Is it wrong that I’m in love with Elizabeth? Greatest NPC ever. Doesn’t get in the way, get killed, or walk slow as shit.
I say: Elizabeth is the anti-Peter Puppy.
@shmiggle123 says: BIOSHOCK INFINITE IF YOU DONT DOWNLOAD FASTER IM GONNA PUNCH YOU IN CODE!
I say: Naw, go for the chop instead. Leave a serious welt on that fucker’s chest so it knows who’s boss!
@TomSmizzle says: oh my god i am like a minute into bioshock infinite and i am so fuckin seasick
I say: Never mind M for mature; it’s time the ESRB start including other warnings in its rating system. S for seasickness. I for creepy, crawly insects. FIHF for Fuck, It’s Homefront.
@WillPayForBJs says: any ladies wanna play bioshock infinite? or make out? DM me
I say: Don’t do it for free, ladies. This dude’s already ruined his bargaining position. And playing Bioshock Infinite really is just as good as making out.
@dandydicaprio says: BIOSHOCK INFINITE COMES OUT TOMORROW I AM SHITTING MY PANTS
I say: If only there were a vigor to weaponize that…