Tag Archives: ios

D Bags Weekly 8/4/12: Centennial

What did we learn this week? We learned that all best-of lists are purely subjective, and that some people are more entertained by teenagers who pretend to shoot themselves in the head than worms that explode hilariously or dinosaurs that blow bubbles. (My 25 Favorite Games of All Time) The podcast taught us all that perseverance and a steady supply of alcohol can actually get you somewhere in life. Also, Centaur Man is gross and Javi from Game Over Nation is awesome. (Episode 100 – “100″) We learned that gamers, Apple fanboys, and jocks may not be so different after all. (The Cult of Nintendo) We learned that you don’t have to be any good at a game to enjoy it as long as it involves some sort of stereotypically Southern aesthetic. (A Streetcar Named Starcraft 2) We learned that some of the best entertainment to...

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Bombing the Bowl with iOS: Surviving High School

If you’re like me (male, late 20’s, borderline alcoholic, eat too much yogurt), you spend a lot of time on the throne. Unfortunately, there isn’t always a magazine handy, especially in the cramped, oh-God-why-is-the-seat-so-warm confines of an office stall, but that’s why Steve Jobs invented the iPhone. It’s been scientifically proven that iOS games are only fun to play on the shitter. Don’t listen to those holdouts that claim Apple’s mobile offerings are good fodder for the subway or your daughter’s boring dance recital; such uncouth pseudoscience is the realm of quacks and charlatans. It has no place in the modern world of logic and reason. And so, in the interest of helping all of our readers keep themselves entertained while launching the ol’ butt shuttle, I’d like to recommend an iOS game that’s about as enjoyable as 99 cent phone games can possibly be. Surviving...

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Give the Vita a Chance

My frustrations with mobile gaming are well documented.  Despite the impressive technology and awesome UI built into smartphones nowadays, finding an iOS or Android game that’s worth playing when you aren’t on the crapper is nigh impossible.  I haven’t given up on my Quixotic quest (which Psydra could easily end with an iOS port of Dark Scavenger), but my frustrations lead to the purchase of a handheld device built specifically for mobile gaming: Sony’s PS Vita. An attractive piece of technology, the Vita is sleek, it’s light, and it fits easily in my hands despite my long fingers and the touch panel on the back that requires a looser grip.  It’s got one of the crispest screens I’ve seen on any kind of handheld.  The touch functionality is accurate and easy to reach without having to shift your hold on the unit.  The home screen...

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The New Star Wars Games We Need

News surfaced this week describing a new patent filed by LucasArts regarding a new property presented via many different forms of media, video games included.  Combine that with the recent registration of several Star Wars 1313 domains and the fact that Boba Fett once used CT-1313 as an alias and we’ve got rumors of an upcoming game starring everyone’s favorite bounty hunter. Not so fast, I say.  Boba Fett’s not a terrible option as the lead of a new franchise, but there are a lot of other characters and stories in the Star Wars universe that would make excellent games.  Like these: Cut the Chain – An iOS puzzle game starring Princess Leia as she attempts to free herself from various chains linking her to Jabba the Hutt.  You get licked, you lose. SimCloudCity – Step into the shoes of Lando Calrissian and guide the...

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D Bags Weekly – 5/5/12

Cinco de mayo!  Arriba!  Dos cervezas por favor – y una semana de artículos buenos del D Pad D Bags. Y feliz cumpleaños a Brooke Hogan. El mundo seria un lugar menos sin ella.  Buena suerte para ella en el Derby de Kentucky.  Caliente! D Bag Gourmet: The Sessler Sizzlin’ Grill and Cabaret – My ode to the man that inspired me to enter the business and our latest crack at making “Morgan Webb takes big gross dumps” a thing. The Gaming Avengers – The web’s only shameless attempt to steal Avengers traffic involving Minsc and an eight bit legend. eSports Growing Pains – Clay Reimus debuts with an awesome article comparing and contrasting eSports and real, sweaty competitions of athleticism.  Starcraft is more of a sport than golf. Podcast Episode 90 – Baseball Superstars Times Vagazzled – We get even more mileage out of...

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iOS: iDon’t Get Why the Games Suck

I’ve been a proud iPhone owner for a few years now. Although I don’t think it’s the Scarlett Johansson of technology many people make it out to be, I’m happy with the device.  It generally does what I want it to do. It rarely pisses me off. The screen is nice. It’s great for checking Facebook or Twitter when I’m inevitably the first person to reach the bar. I haven’t seen another phone operating system compelling and different enough to make me want to switch.  It’s a solid piece of technology that works well and allows me to carry a metric shit ton of content in my pocket. Why, then, can I not find an iOS game I actually want to play? I’ve tried, folks. I’ve tried hard. Angry Birds. Ash. Galaxy on Fire. Aralon HD. Deer Hunter Reloaded. Dragon Fantasy. iFish. Kard Combat. Cut...

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My First PAX

Getting There My trip to PAX involved a twenty minute ride traversing about half of the MBTA’s Red Line.  It was unusually busy for 9 am on a Saturday morning, packed with an eclectic mix of nerds and those people in Boston Marathon jackets who infest the city this time every year.  I couldn’t help smiling at the confused older couple sandwiched between a crew of PAX nerds in Pokemon shirts and a kid painted gray who’d strapped giant horns to his head.  There was a fun buzz on the T you don’t feel during the dour weekday commute; it was a sense of anticipation and barely-concealed excitement, of a crowd anxiously looking forward to reaching its destination.  It was infectious, and it raised my spirits in spite of my usual hatred of being up before ten o’clock in the morning. Getting In My biggest...

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Why Kard Combat is the Best iPhone Game EVER

Hothead’s Kard Combat has eaten more of my life the last few months than the bigger budget, bigger screen titles I’ve been GameFlying.  Built with the assistance of Magic: The Gathering creator Richard Garfield, Kard Combat puts players in the role of a fat, dumpy, balding, man who lives in his mother’s basement but leaves on occasion to play wizard cards in the local bingo hall.  It isn’t as deep as Magic (I think; I only played that shit like twice), but there’s some serious strategy hidden underneath its accessible exterior.  Kard Combat might just be the iPhone equivalent of sliced bread.  Let me count the ways… No fucking dragging.  Arguably more annoying than the innovative waving-your-arms-like-you’re-having-a-seizure input in every motion controlled game ever, the drag has turned me off to many an iPhone app.  SimCity.  Infinity Blade.  The Oregon Trail.  Maybe my fingers aren’t...

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