Tag Archives: Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

My 25 Favorite Games of All Time

I’m not qualified to write a list of the best video games ever made. No one is. No one on the planet has played every video game ever released. No writer can completely remove his personal preferences from any attempt at objectivity. No reviewer can take a thoroughly esoteric value like “quality” and transform it perfectly into a linear scale. Many have vainly tried; I’m not even going to bother. I haven’t played every game ever. I never owned a Super NES, and I haven’t touched a Nintendo console or handheld since the days of the 64. I skipped the original Playstation and didn’t buy a Playstation 2 until the console and all of its games were dirt cheap because the Playstation 3 had just launched. For what it’s worth, I generally dislike first-person-shooters that have me shooting something other than aliens, games based on...

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Five Video Game Characters I Never Want to Smell Like

Apparently people want to smell like Mega Man. I’m serious. Perfume company Epic-Scents has signed a deal with Capcom to produce a line of fragrances representing the company’s seminal characters. Although we can only imagine what video game characters might smell like because idiot scientists thought they should spend all their time on 3D rather than Smell-o-vision, it’s pretty obvious there are a few men and women in our favorite medium with aromas that should remain safely locked inside their respective discs, cartridges, or DLC. Deckard Cain, Diablo 3 – Hello my friend. Stay awhile and listen…to the ridiculously long list of things that might be living in Cain’s beard. Traipsing around the world of Diablo in sandals seems like a great way to contract some mutant form of athlete’s foot even John Madden’s most enthusiastic “boom!” couldn’t stand against. This is a very old man...

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The 5 Strongest Video Game Heroines

Last week’s revelation that the upcoming Tomb Raider reboot includes an attempted sexual assault has kicked up a shitstorm of controversy throughout the industry. Supposedly the scene is included solely to make the player want to protect Lara Croft. From where I’m sitting, this sounds like bunk. Good writers don’t have to rely on that kind of cheap, shocking trick to make someone care about one of their characters–they write deep, compelling characters the player can’t help but like. Modern gaming is infested with vapid female archetypes with ridiculous figures that do little to help the industry’s image, but the following five heroines are exceptions to that rule–and they’re examples to which Crystal Dynamics would be wise to look. 5. Faith, Mirror’s Edge – Saving her sister and fighting government surveillance through the power of parkour, building Faith like one of the women from Dead or...

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Six Games I Overrate

Everybody’s got their favorites, and rightfully so–everybody’s taste in entertainment is different. Most favorites probably need no defense; very few people will make a face at you if you tell them how much you love Portal or Final Fantasy VII, for instance. But for each of your favorites the masses consider acceptable, you’ve probably got several that make people scratch their heads and a few you keep to yourself for fear of ridicule.  These are a few of mine, the games (and a few other things) that I’d rank surprisingly high were I to list my all-time favorites. Persona 3 (Sony Playstation 2) – My absolute most favorite game of all time.  I’ve probably spent more time with P3 the last three years than I’ve spent drinking, pooping, or writing silly things for the Internet.  Something about it just really resonates with me despite the fact...

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