Haiku Previews, September 2012

NHL 13

NHL 13, September 11

A lockout looms. Dumb.
But fear not; hockey gaming
Comes to the rescue.

New mode, sure to please
Those who live in the red states:
Shit Tim Thomas Says.

Get your Molsons out.
At the release of this game
Canada parties.

Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition

Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition, September 18

An old D20.
Updated technology.
Imoen hotter?

Shit, miniature
Giant space hamster jokes don’t
Fit in a haiku.

There are iPad and
Android versions. Swipe screen to
Kick the greasy wheel.

Borderlands 2

Borderlands 2, September 18

The first of fall’s big
Sequels brings back gun hands. Jeff
Hardy is pissed.

Hidden ending proves
The wicked can indeed rest.
Elephants caged.

Like us on Facebook
If you forgot to preorder.
You might win this game.

Dead or Alive 5

Dead or Alive 5, September 25

First DoA sans
Itagaki. Never fear, fans,
Big boobs are still here.

Strikes beat throws. Throws beat
Holds. Holds beat strikes. Fighting games
Beat beach volleyball.

On official site,
Checked Hayabusa’s page.
Holy fucking codpiece.

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

World of Warcraft: Mysts of Pandaria, September 25

More World of Warcraft
All other MMO games
Shit their pantaloons.

Cap up to 90.
Why not higher? Simple, dude:
Pandas don’t count well.

Pet battle system
Seeks to help MMOs breach
Pokemon market.

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