Four Games to Get You Ready for the Apocalypse

Hey guys, did you hear about Friday’s apocalypse? No? Well, the Mayans say it’s coming, and it’s going to be a real doozy! Better prepare yourself for your new post apocalyptic lifestyle with the following games.

Whatever game in the Fallout series is most appropriate for your particular apocalypse – Although this might seem like a no-brainer, be careful; each of the Fallout games teaches us very different lessons about post-apocalyptic life. Imagine the egg you’ll have on your face if you’re caught waiting for your turn to attack in an environment where the local ghouls show no such compunction! You’ll be the laughingstock of the whole wasteland if you accidentally attempt to add another companion to your party in an area where monogamy is the norm. Knowledge of New Vegas is about as useful in a bombed out, mutant-infested city as skill in Fallout 3 is to surviving an irradiated wilderness. Bringing home a water chip you thought was a GECK won’t get you anywhere with the other survivors. And if you’re relying on Fallout Tactics as your only point of reference, well…may God have mercy on your soul as that deathclaw tears your lifeless corpse limb from ill-prepared limb.

Sonic the Hedgehog – Oft overlooked is the mad-scientist-turns-all-the-animals-into-killer-robots style apocalypse, but it’s just as deadly as the more popular varieties of end time. Will you know what to do if that cute little squirrel that used to happily steal all the seed from your bird feeder is suddenly transformed into a mechanized crab with nothing on its mind but murder? Here’s a hint: if a two-tailed fox with a cowlick or any other kind of technicolor woodland creature with a cutesy-wutesy name tries to make friends, run the fuck away.

The Walking Dead – By now, everyone knows how to deal with a zombie apocalypse. Aim for the head, always check the backseat, and make good use of the buddy system. One part of surviving the rise of the undead that often falls under the radar is the social aspect; survival in a land full of rabid corpses out to suck down your brains involves a lot of tough decisions–and none of them have icons to tell you whether you’re following the paragon or renegade path. The shades of gray in such a situation would block out the sun, and the Walking Dead series of games is a great introduction to the bleak existence awaiting us on Saturday.

Sim City – Once all of the zombies have been decapitated, the sun-blocking cloud of asteroid impact debris has cleared, and the land is finally free of radiation, someone’s going to have to rebuild civilization. Proper balance between residential, commercial, and industrial zones will be key to bringing humanity back from the brink. There’ll be garbage to truck away, utilities to restore, schools to build, and pissy people who don’t want to live so close to the power lines. Think you can deal with all that? Not without SimCity’s help, you can’t!

Listen to Episode 120 of our Podcast – It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Quetzalcoatl!

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