Diablo III – A n00b’s Perspective

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Anytime there’s an epic event in the gaming world that’s got everyone but me excited, I feel kind of left out.  It’s like missing a game winning home run everyone’s talking about at work the next day.  Gamers are my people; I want to feel like part of the tribe.

But I also approach anything with world-shaking buzz with a tremendous grain of salt.  The number of long-anticipated entertainment things–be they video games, movies, television, or even books–that live up to their hype is smaller than the vocabulary of your average Bayou Billionaire.  I tend to hold myself out of those conversations, mostly so I don’t get angry when they inevitably turn negative a few weeks after release (see Mass Effect 3).  Despite my desire to fit in, I also have this overwhelming need to be smarter than everyone else, to hoist myself above the rabble and wait to experience something for myself before showering it with praise or hatred like any good smart person should.

Enter Diablo III, a sequel twelve years in the making saddled with approximately three light years of hype.  I want to know more and I kind of want to try it.  I want to keep my distance so I can watch it fail under the weight of its expectations.  I want to rush out and buy it.  I want to wait and see.  I want to know what they’re prescribing for schizophrenia nowadays and where I can get some cheap.

I wasn’t a fan of the original.  If you asked me to describe it, I’d do so thusly:

Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Piss break.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Carpal tunnel.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.

Looking back, I realize I didn’t give it much of a chance.  My interest in Diablo III has lead me to do some research; I know now that the lore is a hell of a lot deeper than I realized (pun only kind of intended), that it’s meant to be a bit grindy, that using skills in the correct combinations leads to a much more fulfilling experience than just wearing out your mouse’s left button.  I’m a much more mature gamer than I was 16 years ago when the original was released, and all of those things sound like they’d keep me entertained.  At the very least the game won’t make me hurl my controller across the room after failing a you-fuck-up-you-die-instantly-even-though-you-just-killed-sixteen-guys-on-your-own-so-a-few-guards-shouldn’t-be-so-hard stealth mission (I’m a bit pissed with the Witcher 2 right now, but that’s a story for another day).

So I’m thinking about it.  I’m hemming and I’m hawing.  My attitude toward Diablo III changes every time the wind blows.  I should care; I do care and I’m going to buy it; I don’t give a fuck and I want to know where my Vita is.  On the one hand, I want to dive into a new series with a great reputation that’s had time to work all of its kinks out.  On the other, I don’t want to be completely lost because I don’t know what happened before (I’m looking at you again, Witcher 2).  My life is so hard.

Help me, dear readers.  When you’re unsure whether you want to even try a game, especially one you can’t pick up for $8 in some bargain bin somewhere, how do you decide?  Is getting into the series this far along a good idea or a bad idea?  Should I just quit being ridiculous and go for it?

Want more Diablo III?  Check out our launch kit.


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