D Bags Weekly – 5/19/12

Max Payne

Stop playing Diablo for a little while and read this stuff.  Blizzard’s servers will thank you.  Oh, and Max Payne’s kind of lonely so someone should go play with him for a little while.  Seriously guys he’s almost out of pills and he’s threatening to buy a Katy Perry wig because no one cared that he shaved his head.

Give the Vita a Chance – I only wrote this article because I bought a Vita and I want everyone else to buy one so my investment is not wasted.  And it’s a pretty cool device.

Diablo III: A n00b’s Perspective – Getting into an new IP with a rich history is a daunting task indeed.  Like taking a solid shit after eating at Chipotle.

Diablo III Launch Kit – Everything you need to know about your one-way trip to carpal tunnel syndrome.

The Witcher 2, You and I Are Through – Dumping a video game with a strong cult following is like dumping an Italian broad: angry friends and family members crawl out of the woodwork to scream at you and tell you she was too good for you anyway.

Special Report: Servers Die Under Game’s Popularity, Players Pissed – A console jockey and a click whore talk always-on server connections and male pattern baldness.

Podcast Episode 92: Scaptain – Everything you wanted to know about scamming the great state of Rhode Island, dealing with Gamestop upsells, and abbreviated nicknames that sound like STD’s.  Also featuring the first monthly waiver run of the Video Game Fantasy League.

I Killed Wrex and I Feel Guilty About It – I keep trying to tell myself he was just a collection of polygons that exists only temporarily in the ether of my TV screen, a soulless collection of electrons dancing merrily at a programmer’s whim, but I ask you–aren’t we all?


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