An Open Letter to the Jiggle Physics and Digital Boob Gods

Dear Jiggle Physics and Digital Boob Gods,

I know we’ve been down this winding, terrible, downtrodden path before. A path so worn down by feminists that the cry of “sexist” can be heard ringing down through the valleys of videogames everywhere. But, stop! Don’t burn this letter yet, you unyielding and unknown hands behind the 0s and 1s–I’m not here as a woman to stone Ivy and Lara.

Rather than point out the obvious shortcomings of having DD boob cups–which include back and knee problems–or explain how impossible it would be for someone physically fit to have natural DD gravity defying tits, I’m writing this letter to say “Go forth! Continue your wary quest to one day have glorified babes! But do remember strong/compass females like Samus or Clementine from The Walking Dead also strike a visionary string in your audience–without the boobs.”

In college I took a class called “Ethics in Videogames and Cinema” and the male professor one day went on a rant about how the sexual portrayal of females was objectifying and prevented females from joining gamers despite wanting to play. I raised my hand from the back and my response to the professor and my class was “why not?”

In fact, it’s my belief that women SHOULD be sexy in video games (whether it’s physically like Chloe Frazer or emotionally like Elena Fisher, both from Uncharted). One of the strong points of being a woman IS to be beautiful, sexy, and elegant–words that one can not often use to describe men (unless you live in Japan). These are STRENGTHS of being a woman and should be used just like a vixen would use them, for good or for bad. So why do people feel the need to throw a blanket over our hot females so long as they have a respectable presence in the game? Not all D’s need to be reduced to an A. Sometimes C’s and B’s exist, ya’know?

Women should be beautiful, sexy, and elegant in video games, just like they are in real life. It’s one of the qualities that make us women. Whether you want the elusive, gorgeous vixen archetype or the kind, emotional, forever in-love girl-next-door, women in video games can and should be as varied as the men who play all the various roles in video games. And don’t even get me started on the whole “it distorts the perception for little girls” argument. One, little girls should probably not be playing video games that star many of the supposedly “too sexy” women. Second, if you want to light that torch, face it toward the models of today. At least with video game characters it is understood these are fictional characters, while models are photoshopped to have an impossible figure but portray reality.

Love, B

P.S. My opinion on Ivy? She’s the example of trying to please the male gamers gone too far. But would Soul Calibur really be the same without our resident dominatrix? I don’t think so.

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  • Chris Boers

    you should be SO happy with the new Lara. Strong, beautiful, feminine, but without her old double-D.

  • TheIronFistOfDeath

    Just like violence, sex in games is a reflection of society. Games do not create it.

  • kontis

    She still has big boobs. This time they are just natural.

  • skyrimer

    I love how feminists criticize the over sexualisation of women in games while they purchase 50 shades books by millions, where an oversexualized millionare macho bomb slaves a women and fucks her non stop without doing much else during three books, but they are not hypocritical at all, nope.

  • matt

    Boobie physics are the female equivalent to the overly macho appearance of every male character. Don’t take the boobies :(

  • shintek

    I have to echo skyrimer and matt
    a bit here. I’m fine with the portrayal of women and men in games and movies,
    but if we’re going to go down the road of criticizing mega-boobs in games,
    let’s also have a look at pretty much every single male hero in AAA titles, with
    their perfect bodies, ripped abs, manly rugged faces, etc. etc. The men are
    also utterly unrealistic (in the sense that men “like that” seem to
    exist only in games, movies, and the cover of Men’s Health magazine). I very
    rarely identify with any character in any video game. In fact, I can’t, for the
    life of me, identify with the guys doing the freaking Gillette ads on tv either.
    That makes me wonder, who are these ads targeting anyway? Am I supposed to want
    to look like these guys? Am I supposed to feel bad that I don’t look like these
    guys? Are the ads somehow targeted towards my wife so that she buys me those
    razors in the hope that I somehow transform into that awesome looking dude with
    the perfect hairless body? Maybe someone in marketing can answer that one. Whatever.

    I think that the portrayal of men
    and women in games, movies, ads, etc. are an exaggeration of what we,
    collectively, find attractive. Beautiful people are what we want to look at. I
    sometimes find myself complaining that everyone on TV looks too pretty, but the
    second I see some ugly looking person, I’ll be the first one to say “I
    don’t want that on my screen! Give me pretty! I don’t want to see regular
    people there, I see them all the time at work and at the grocery store!”.

    Now, I don’t know what women get
    off on when it comes to the sexuality of the games they play. But I can say
    that as a man, I find large breasts, long legs, beautiful stomachs, to be incredibly
    attractive. But then again, I wouldn’t kick you out of bed because you have
    smaller breasts. I like kind, funny, intelligent and sexual women, period. For
    real world attractiveness, it’s a huge combination of things that dictate whether
    or not I find someone attractive (and boobs don’t even figure at the top of
    that list, btw). But games being what they are, it may be that creating a
    striking/attractive character necessitates a certain physical exaggeration by
    the artist. After all, it’s not like personality and that undefinable “feel” of
    a person can come out all that well via the game medium (although this has
    changed quite a bit in the last couple of years).

  • Anonymouss

    I still can’t tell whether the writer of this article is being sarcastic or really is this retarded to promote the obvious objectifying and oversexualization of women which continues the ideology that a womans’ worth is in her beauty, or the “big boobs small brain” ideology, etc. A woman is beautiful & sexy not because of what she looks like, but because of how she is on the inside, something the writer obviously missed. But yes, matt and a few others are right – sexism goes both ways.

  • Michelle

    … this article – ahem, not “article,” but rant full of idiocy that promotes practices that hurt women everyday – is incomprehensibly sickening. So being a woman is about simply being “pretty?” The strength of a woman is her beauty? Not a womans’ brains, personality and intelligence? And video games are now photo-realistic and clearly represent realism almost as much as female models do, to justify making females into sex objects “because it’s fake” is silly. And to justify making females into mere objects as long as said female has an important role argues that said female cannot have an important role without being made into eye candy for male gamers. A female can be physically beautiful without being made to look like a whore. Bravo Ms. K for taking the fight for womans’ rights back 10 years. Thankfully, the vast majority of female gamers would disagree with this nonsense.
    And to matt and the others, so two wrongs make a right? Instead of correcting the macho nonsense of male portrayals, we just continue to promote both sexist practices? Eh, Mr. Hyprocrite?